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Leyla Neilsen

Bath time – Hannah Wilson

By | 2022 runner up | One Comment

Bath time

Patience is a habit
the bath has learned
from her many lovers.
They come
and go,
waxing and waning
like the moon.

Her presence settles over the soul
as easily as over warm flesh,
like the musk of steam or
dew drops.

Her heartbeat is the sound of water
gently eroding
her thighs
as if sculpted from sand,
her breathing
the sound a shell makes
when you hold it to your ear.

Her perfume is incensed
vanilla orange blossom candles
burning wicks like gasoline.

She is where a soon to be mother
sprawls,
belly glistening with sweat and steam and blood,
cheeks sparkling with tears and wonder.
The bath can cup the new life
against her porcelain skin.
Those days, her waters hold
the whispers of a doula.

She is where a med school hopeful
skins herself
of scrubs and good manners,
dissects herself, searching for any
fissures in the façade,
a girl who grew up hearing that she could never
be a doctor
now awaits exam results
like a telegram home during war.

She is where a survivor scrubs herself
clean
of the probing hands
that invaded
the borders of her body,
colonised her
like indigenous land.

She is where a fourteen-year-old girl
discovers
her body
for the first time
and learns how to create earthquakes
inside herself.

The bath cradles each
experience
like a newborn.

After sunset
the moon’s light splashes
across the bath’s porcelain skin.

She too is lonely.

So, for tonight
they find a home in each other’s arms.

 

Hannah Wilson
Hannah Wilson
Year 13
Raphael House Rudolf Steiner School

Blue – Louie Feltham

By | 2022 runner up | One Comment

Blue

How do you define a man?
dig through skin to find a heart and call it blue
grasp my frail hands in yours
and snap my fingers

scatter the bones over your garden
———————————__——-to feed the shrubbery
gluttonous greed grows quickly
a need for more
you will take it
without looking back
and I will let your vines envelope the old me
until all I have left are nameplates
————————————————chucked under beds
———————————————-___—-collecting dust

I am my old sweater on my chair
the one I wear to hide my chest
cover my scars in hopes of lifting my shirt to find a blank canvas
———————————————-___————a glimpse of what I could be

let the colour spill down my neck
and fill the crevices
with something beautiful that you would like
a mother’s shaky hand greeting her new found son
the sob of a despaired drag queen
————————————————punctured skin illuminated by street lamps
eyes crinkled in delight to be wearing my own skin

but I don’t dare to look
———————————————————————-I don’t want to

the only blue you see
is my bruised flesh
pinched and manipulated
to the figure that stands here
a shadow
of masculinity
the failed experiment of a rebellion

you pull out a camera and I touch my face
willing to mould it to your vision
—————————————————–compressed to your brand of trans
surrendering would be a sigh of relief

to accept
the stamp of womanhood

purchase my period products
crinkling plastic of blooms and blush
———————————————————————-and think yes,
—————————————————————————this is me

linger between the gates of heaven and hell
tainted blue and pink doors

scrutinise each curl
how it folds

fear holds the question in my throat
———————————————-___————Is it enough for you?


Louie Feltham
Year 12
Samuel Marsden Collegiate School

Mammalian – Xiaole Zhan

By | 2019 award winner | No Comments

Mammalian

mamma, your back is flowered dark red and purple perfect circles, mamma, fleshy hills along the road
of your spine, your blood suctioned to the surface of your skin, you tell me it helps with your pain,
paints you the colour of tender bruises, blisters oozing with yellow liquid along the rim of each cup,
too much moisture in the body, you say, I imagine the body as a dark cave, bones dripping stalactites,
corroding canals and canals, there seems to be such a fine line between hurting and healing, mamma,
remember sleeping in the summer, mamma, the mosquitoes plodding down on our wet skins, bellies
fat with the mingling of our blood, the watery softness of your flesh in the dark startled me, mamma, I
imagined you old and soft and dead beneath my arms, remember when we made tomato soup together,
and I couldn’t cut a tomato without the insides pulping out, red, red, the raw warmth of it round in my
belly, remember when you told me you’d never be able to hate me, mamma, and I’m sorry for all my
livid love, mamma, all this tender violence, and you’re doubled over dripping snot onto the road,
sobbing how could you do this to me how could you do this to me, and I was the size of a kitten, you
say, when I was born, and when I mewed for you in the dark you thought you’d imagined it, you say,
you thought you’d lost me, lost me, and they say the heart is a muscle the size of a fist, mamma, your
nails are bloodied with the seeping bruise of my heart, mamma, and there’s all this blood between us,
mamma, all this blood because of us, mamma. there’s such a fine line between hurting and loving

 

Portrait Xiaole Zhan
Xiaole Zhan
Year 13
Westlake Girls’ College

Old man – Sebastian Macaulay

By | 2019 runner up | No Comments

Old man

I’m sitting and I watch the old man from the street rest and unfurl from his linen
a pack of Dunhills.
He twists off the cellophane and eyes his catch with thatvintage gleam
of noon-stripped old lowlifes, naked,
howling at their cigarette moons.
Cars and their drivers blur on by, each turning their heads as if to say
yes man, light that cigarette for all you’re worth.
Yes, man lights it.
Draws each drag out long like a bones player shifting keys.
He exhales each time only
a whisper of thin smoke-suns that twist, convulse mid-air.
I have a moment when I think of my father and I
driving along an afternoon’s length of country road; we could’ve been both fifteen
naive
and I feel as if right here and now I’ll weep watching this old
new nomad smoke,
pulling our car breakneck along the asphalt,
filling the valleys and valleys and valleys,
hauling us through them,
here to someplace to every place,
maybe, most likely, somewhere unideal,
where infants are born dead but still live.
My father and I, our cities become flame, the skyscrapers strip the blue skies,
haul from the seas
an urgent thunderstorm now upon us all and still.
The old man smokes.
Almost at the filter now.
Watching our cars roll on by.
Looking with those eyes at each and every person as if to say
yes man, go on your way, go on your way.

 

 

Portrait of Sebastian Macaulay
Sebastian Macaulay
Year 12
Wellington High School